happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
