New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
