haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
