I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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