I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
