Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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