That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
