Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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