break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize