Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
