you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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