we're chasing vodka with high fives
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
