You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
