hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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