I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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