i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
