I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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