hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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