you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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