Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
