Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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