Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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