i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize