One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
