Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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