Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Vodka?
Forever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
