Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
