So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
