what if every blade of grass was a penis?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
