so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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