4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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