i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
