Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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