then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
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just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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