There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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