so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
