sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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