I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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