i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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