He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
