My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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