are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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