I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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