This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
