i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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