Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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