it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
