all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
