you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
