we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
