how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
