We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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