Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just pee around me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
