yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
