i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize