I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
