i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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