problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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