is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
