So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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