I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
