But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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