sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
