in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
