I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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