i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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