no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
