NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My penis needs a shock collar
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
