So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
