i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You ate ashes out of my bong
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